The Kindest Man I’ve Ever Known.

“I have never known someone so kind. I have never met a man with such fire in eyes. It’s who you are to me Jesus. Lord, you’re the kindest man I know.” 

I read this recently, and it really struck me. The way it’s worded. It’s like a honest love letter. Like a note a short note that one lover would slip to his or her sweetheart before parting ways. Simple words, packed with love. 

So why don’t we talk to God like that more often? Why do we talk to God like He is an untouchable supernatural power? 

Of course, we ought to give Christ the respect that is due. But why not talk to Him like the friend He is? 

I don’t understand why we get so caught up in feeling like we can’t be friends with Christ. Or better yet, why can’t we love Him the way we love others? I often see girls on Instagram posting about Christ being the “first love,” but I am willing to bet money that half of those girls don’t love Christ the way they love their boyfriend. It’s just not how we think. But it’s just as easy to write God a love note, as it is to write something to a boyfriend or girlfriend. 

When I was at a Delight & Be intensive last summer, we were all given notebooks, and we were told to write love letters to Jesus. 

That concept was so new to me. 

Writing love letters to Jesus had never been talked about. But, I tried it. 

To be honest, it’s one of my favorite ways to worship and talk to Christ now. It’s much more personal. I give him the messy stuff. Because He doesn’t hide that He came to save the messy people, so I don’t hide that I am. 

So, my challenge to you is to fall in love with Christ. He’s the kindest man you’ll ever meet. He’s the closest friend you’ll ever have. 

He’s the Lord. He wants your heart. All of it. 💙

No Matter The Mess 

No matter the mess, Christ loves us. This is something I’ve been learning, because no matter where I am in life, it’s usually messy. Whether my heart is filled with joy, it’s never just joy. 

It’s joy with longing. 

It’s longing with tears. 

It’s tears, with praise mixed in. 

No matter how confident I am in myself, I’ll always have days where I feel like trash. 

But isn’t a good thing that God loves us despite our mess? He really does. Infact, He, in His perfection, chose to die for our mess. A perfect, spotless God, chose to die for us. 

I don’t think I’ll ever fully comprehend how much love and grace He feels towards us, because it’s insane. How a perfect God could love an imperfect girl like myself still blows my mind. 

Not only does He love this mess, but He wants me to press into Him. He wants to be my best friend. He wants to hear my messy prayers, and help. He doesn’t want me to put on a mask of fake perfection. That’s the last thing He wants. He wants us to be honest with Him. He wants us to give up ourselves and give into Him. 

No matter how messy that may be. 
“I come with my broken song

To You the Perfect One.

To worship You,

In spirit and truth. 

Only You.

Only You.”

What Losing Taught Me About God. 

“It is well, doesn’t mean that it is good. But because He is always good, my heart can sing, it is well.”

Words of I’ve been dwelling upon. I guess one could say I’m currently on a spiritual high. I just spent a week with some fantastic people, competed for my favorite thing ever, and strengthened friendships along the way. 

I’ve found myself in moments where I feel as if I couldn’t be happier. I’ve found myself in a new state of joy and happiness. 

But why does it happiness only seem to come when things are going right? 
That’s what I’ve been challenged with. Why can’t my life always be a constant outflow of praise to my Creator? Why can’t I always be trusting God with no reserve? 

Exactly. There is no reason as to why I can’t praise my Savior for what He is doing. There is not reason why I can’t give Him my plans. Because He’s always at work. Even when things seem tough, He is at work. 

I learned a lot about that last week at Nationals. By the grace of God alone, I made callbacks on my speech, and ultimately placed 4th in the nation. On the day of awards, though, I found myself drowning in anxiety. I had NO idea what to expect. None. So I curled into myself and let my fear win. But then, I got a text from a dear friend who reminded me that God doesn’t do things without purpose. He wouldn’t take me to finals without a purpose. 

Then, awards night came, and I didn’t get my name called. But I wasn’t sad. I cried, but not once was I sad. Because, at the very end of the ceremony, we sang the song that we had sang at the end of every chapel service for the last time.

“All I ever want to be, 

Is what you want of me, Lord, 

I give my life to you. 

And all my hopes and dreams and plans, 

I place within your hands, Lord.

I give my life to you. 

Here am I, Lord, use me.

Take my life, and mold me. 

All I ever want to be, 

is what you want of me, Lord. 

I give my life to you.” 

Those words rang in my heart, and with tears in my eyes I realized what God was doing. 

Through the whole time, God wanted me to trust Him. His plan is so much bigger and better than our own. We just have to trust HIM. Not lean on our own understanding. In all our ways, He wants us to acknowledge Him. 

How I didn’t see this from the beginning, I don’t know. But at that moment, that reality hit me like a ton of bricks. For the rest of the night ( and days ahead ) it didn’t matter. Not placing was not what brought me to tears. It was the reality of God being at work that brought me to tears. Quite easily, by the way. When I called my dear cousin to tell her I didn’t win, I found myself crying. Again. But the only words I could muster were, “I don’t even know how I’m here. God has just done so much.” 

I’m still feeling that same feeling. I don’t even know how I’m where I am. But I do know that God is constantly good, and it’s because of His goodness that it is well with my soul. 

Have No Fear

It seems like every Sunday, on the way to church, I start thinking of things that involve Christ. I guess you could call them my #SundayDwellings. 
Today in particular I thought about what it means to love and trust God without fear. 

1 John 4:18 says – “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

‭ Currently, I’m at a point where I am not “in love” with anyone. So, I’m working on really being in love with Christ. 

So what does it mean to love without fear? 

I think it goes hand-in-hand with trust. I think it really means to give up our fears, and unashamedly depend upon Christ. Really, truly, love Him. I mean, if we really believe God is who He says He is, we should know that there’s nothing to fear when it comes to our Savior. You know, He does hold the universe and stuff. 

   For example, this weekend I was in a competition, and I was preforming in various speech related things. If you know me personally, you know that speech is where my heart is. So, to win something would just about make my year. But of course, fear got in the way more often than not. I knew God could make anything happen, and if I didn’t win anything, it would be in His plan. But so often, I found myself dwelling upon my fear of losing in everything I entered. Not gonna lie, the night before the competition, I was telling my Mom about how I fully expected to lose in everything I participated in. Even at the competition I told one of my friends of how there was no way in heaven or on earth that I would win my speech. I was letting my fears get in the way of trusting God. But, you know, God proved to me that His plan is much bigger than my fear. Not only did I win my speech, but I won in a couple other things that I hardly feel worthy of winning. 

   So, if God still blesses us when we let our fears get the best of us, can you imagine what He’d do if we didn’t let our fears win? 

If we fully surrendered our fears to Him, and depended solely upon Him, what would happen? If we loved Him with no fears attached, what would He do? It’s a crazy thought, and loving Christ without fear is much easier said than done. But it is possible. Plus, really, we have no reason not to. He’s told us countless times in His word that He will fulfill His plan. 

Look at Jonah. He tried to run from God. But, God brought a storm, and a big fish to swallow him up. God took Jonah’s fear, and through a series events, God made it clear that His plan was much better than Jonah’s. But, can you imagine if Jonah hadn’t have let fear get in the way, and loved and served God without reserve? Who knows. 

The one thing I know, is that I want to learn to love and trust God with no fear attached. Ever. 

So, have no fear, our Savior is enough. 

The Sin in Searching 

Alright – so. I was going through some of the many writings I have just sitting in my notes on my phone. I thought it would be worth a share. 
What is holding you back from breaking away from sin? What is that ONE sin that you just can’t seem to get rid of? You know, nobody is forcing you, friend. Nobody can force you to sin. Saying no is so hard, but sometimes that’s all we have to. It’s so much easier said then done, but it is possible. 

I think one of sins I can’t seem to shake, is that I’m in a constant state of searching. I’m searching for friends, approval, love, and just about anything else you could think of in regards to my social life. Because I’m a social butterfly. Making friends is my favorite pastime. I crave to fit in and make real friends. The reason I consider this sin, is because I keep running from God in the process of searching. I’ll stop praying, stop searching for God’s will, and onlylook for  what I want.

More recently, Christ has been convicting me to not try and force anything, but to follow Him this time. In friendships, school, and just about everything. So far, I’ve found that a live a much happier when I depend upon Christ, and only Christ. Really. 

What sin are you holding onto? I’d love to be able to pray for you. Until next time.

-Abby Rose

Delight and Be Dependent – part 1/12

As I was trudging through work today, hanging cooking utensils up on hooks, I began to think about what I wanted to write about next. I started to think about what the Lord is teaching me, and my word of the year came to mind. I then began to think of all the things I learned about being dependent, and was amazed by how much I had learned in just one month. Then it hit me. Why not write a blog post at the end of each month, sharing what I had learned about being dependent? Thus, this blog post was born. So, here goes blog post number 1 of 12, on being dependent. 

January –
 1. Dependence on Christ brings independence
This one still blows me away. It’s an oxymoron of the most wonderful kind. It’s been weird. The more I lean on Christ, and depend upon Him for acceptance, it’s as if I don’t even care what other people think. 

 2. Dependence Christ brings confidence.
I no longer feel like I’m not good enough for other people. Mainly because, I don’t have to be. I don’t have to “be good enough” for anyone. I am good enough in the eyes of my Father. 

 3. Dependence on Christ brings joy. 
Guys, I can honestly say, I’m happy. I’m more happy than I’ve been in a while. I’ve found joy in simple things like being busy. 

Verses – 
 ⁃ Isaiah 41:13 “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. ”

 ⁃ Psalm 16:8 “I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.”

 ⁃ Psalm 62:5 “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.”

It’s not a long post, but it’s only been a month. 😉 I hope you enjoyed reading about what I’ve been learning. I hope it could be an encouragement or a challenge. 
-Abby Rose 

An Open Letter To Myself – The New Kid

 

Dear Abby, ( aka. the new kid )

So, you moved, eh? I bet you didn’t see that one coming. Actually, I know you didn’t see that one coming. But, I have a few words of advice for you.

  1. Don’t be so caught up in the fact that “this is the worst thing that coProcessed with VSCO with 3 presetuld ever happen.”

I say that, because it isn’t. It’s actually going to be really good for you. You’ll find a new passion, that the Lord knew all about. You’ll get hooked, and suddenly find that not only is it your favorite class, but also what you want to major in. (Hint – speech. )

     2.  You’ll make friends.

I know. It seems impossible, but it’ll happen. It will take time, and you’ll often feel lonely and left out. But you’ll get there. Eventually you will get to a point where you can happily call them your friends.

     3. It’s okay to be the first one to start a conversation.

Yeah, sometimes it’s a little awkward. But just power through it. You’ll make it. Who knows? You could end up having one of the best conversations you’ve ever had. Also, with that being said, don’t be offended if they don’t willingly start conversations with you. It’s okay. Would you be so willing to jump in conversations with the “new kid” if you were in their shoes? Hah, no, you wouldn’t. Don’t lie to yourself, bud.

4. It’s okay to cry. ( Even at school. )

 

5. Don’t sweat the little things.

Really. Don’t worry about the pointless stuff. People will say things that are going to really ruffle your feathers. But as long as you give grace, and keep your focus on Christ, things will be okay.

6. Try that thing that you think you can’t do because you’re “new.”

I can’t stress that one enough. Don’t let being the “new kid” hold you back from getting involved. It may feel awkward, but it will be so worth it. You’ll do things you didn’t get the chance to do before. You’ll find new passions. You’ll find things to keep you motivated. You’ll be happier for it, I promise.

 

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are valued and cherished. You don’t need the opinion of your peers. You need the opinion of your heavenly father. It’s okay. You’ve got this. I know you do.

-Abby Rose